the red cord exercise

I have wondered for several years about the functioning of human relations. What makes it easier to get attached to some people than to others? Why do we tend to isolate ourselves when we are sad? What does “love” mean? What does “hate” mean? Why are we afraid to talk about our feelings? Why are we afraid to help? Or ask for help?

In other words, if human relationships could be modeled as so many threads connecting us to each other, how would these threads act? Under what laws?

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The same river of life that runs through my veins day and night runs through the world.

– Rabindranath Tagore, poet

I received a book for Christmas (the title of which attracted me very little at first sight – frankly, who had the idea of putting “hope” and “movement” in the same title?),Hope in motion,by Joanna Marcy and Chris Johnstone. Having nothing else to read in hard copy, I resigned myself to taking it with me and reading it on the bus. I was, in the end, pleasantly surprised by the concepts evoked, especially the “connected self”, and the metaphors used.

What inspires people to engage in projects or activism, when these activities do not bring them any immediate personal benefit? At the heart of our consciousness is a wellspring of benevolence and compassion; this aspect of ourselves – what we might call our “connected self” – can be nurtured and developed. We can deepen our sense of belonging to the world. Just as trees extend their roots, our sense of connection can be developed; it allows us to draw from a deeper source to find strength: courage and wisdom. (p.60)

The author indicates that all living beings are connected to each other. Close or far from us, animal or human, we are all part of a self-regulating and therefore connected ecosystem. What affects others, should affect us too. We are talking here about a higher self, the connected self – we can call it the mind, the consciousness, the soul as well. At least, so it has been from the beginning of time, when we lived in community, dependent on each other, until our modern era with the rise of individualism.

Now imagine that all these “connected beings” of every human being are connected by a red cord. A very long but unique red cord, which passes through each of us.

The author (and my interpretation, because I can no longer find the exact passage for the following) proposes a simple visualization exercise:

Inhale.

While inhaling, imagine that the red cord enters through your mouth, naturally transported by oxygen.

Entering your body, it connects and envelops all your organs, lungs, heart, legs, liver, kidneys, brain…

Now the red cord is connected to your entire being. Just as it is connected to all the other human beings you know, or not.

The red cord does not discriminate against anyone. We are all equal to him.

Then exhale.

As you exhale, imagine your mind unwinding on the cord and spreading along its entire length.

In doing so, he meets other spirits attached to the cord and becomes able to understand them.

It is thanks to this same red cord that we manage to have empathy for others, to create connections and to maintain them.

Everything goes through him.

Before doing this exercise, I felt worried about a person I felt ignored but to whom I dedicated many of my thoughts. I was wondering if we were really connected. When I read this exercise and did it, I felt reassured. I felt that I didn’t need to give all my energy, thoughts or questions about that person (as I tend to do usually). The fact is, thanks to the cord, we were connected, and that’s all that mattered. Just as I was connected to all other human beings on this planet, and other living beings. I am part of a whole.

I was afraid of being cut off from this person – but it was impossible. Even if she left one day, the cord would still connect us. This simple idea, this simple feeling, allowed me to stop feeling alone, and to be part of something much bigger than myself and my worries.

You are never alone. Take five short minutes, and do the cord exercise above to feel it.

If someone moves away from you, remember that the cord also connects you to the rest of the world. You’ll always be able to find someone you can connect with. Just move a little further on the cord, perhaps. In the physical world, this can mean trying to meet new people, trying to go in directions or places you’ve never been to.

The cord is long, very long… 🙂

Does this metaphor also speak to you?