Shades

Often, when we simplify the world to live it better, we lose the nuances and we gain in categorization. We can be in one situation or another, but this or always remains exclusive.

When we apprehend the world from a certain depth, we realize that some things may not find their perfect category; otherwise, they would lose their meaning; they would lose their value, their nuances.

Obviously, this can be confusing; who wants to drive on a road for which there is no precise map? Who wants to engage in a maze whose configuration changes every minute?

Some people think that you can only leave a city by leaving your memories there.

I knew it wasn’t, but I didn’t know how to express it.

I always take everything with me.

I left you.

This means that I closed the drawbridge of my heart, just after your shadow had been welcomed there, as the last memory of the past and slim hope of the future.

I really like this shadow.

It was difficult for me to summon the man who accompanied him to finish his stay at the palace, and to continue his journey, while I followed mine; for the two were too far apart to try to bring them closer.

And God knows how heavy the castle of a heart can be to carry on the paths.

The man agreed to leave; but I think he did not see that his shadow remained with me.

I do not know if mine is part of its wake.

Or maybe only a part?

It took a lot of strength to close the drawbridge – and it’s not a fragile door I’m talking about, as it probably was at the beginning of my life. Over time, and visits on the road, I learned to solidify the walls, to spot those who were unable to get out of their own castle, and who communicated only through orange-tinted windows – the mystery creates the wildest passions, and the distance from hearts, a gap intruding where one falls every time one tries to come to the other. Or that we believe we are trying

I am not familiar with the golden cage in which the man I knew lives, but I do know that there were times when all our walls were gone, by a look, a touch, a simple kiss without any other drunkenness than that of the clouds. That’s why his shadow remained in my palace, the ultimate witness of our last story.

November 16, 2014